Love the Haters

This isn’t about us. This is about them.

When I get hated on or criticized for what I say what I stand for, or my passionate pursuits, it means I’m doing something right.

It’s incredibly healthy to stay open-minded and listen to others who feel triggered by you, who offer their advice on how you should live your life — you might get some needed insight on how to change your tone or tweak your delivery. But a lot of time it is important to remember that it’s more about what is going on in them than you being offensive.

If we are strong in our convictions and live our lives authentically, it will rile up people who have all kinds of inner turmoil and insecurities.

It’s not really about their differing opinion or that they just don't like us or our personality — it is much more about what they don't like about themselves.

The flashlight just turned on and exposed something ugly.

They resent how sure and confident we are in our vision. They might even be jealous that we are running after our dreams and have the courage to face ourselves and overcome our obstacles. They might be afraid so they are triggered by everything about us.

I have had so many artists tell me they are heartbroken that their family members don't believe in them or see that their art will one day soon be a career. I’ve heard artists say that they get discouraged when someone criticizes their work or tells them their painting looks bad.

They get so affected by the outside negativity and for some it is constant. The words begin to drag them down and poison their thinking. They spiral into the agony of self-doubt and eventually can’t bear going back into their studio. They lose their momentum and eventually their goals and dreams.

The ones spewing the negativity, though, are hurting.

Beneath the facade of “I know better than you” are little boys and little girls with dreams too — big dreams that used to excite them and fill their hearts with wonder. If they are constantly negative or just being hateful, deep down they are tortured by their fear, inability to set a goal and go after it, or the feeling of not being capable.

Some are self-loathing or narcissistic, which are first cousins.

But the reaction to us pursuing our passions with strength and power is not because of us, it’s because of them.

And they are feeling lost and hopeless.

If we love them instead of getting affected by their stinging words, it will all turn around.

How do we love them?

The best way to love a hater is ignore them and succeed anyway! Let all the words roll right off. Don't let them penetrate your heart. Know the source is desperation and fear and don't give them power or voice in your life. Don't shrink back.

Don't get quieter and don't stop.

Stand strong in your convictions and press on to your goals. All your haters will watch you, study you, and hope you fail.

But when your persistence pays off and you don't fail, you win.

They will melt. They will transform into a gooey, mushy pile of flesh that will finally yield to their own destiny. They have been so invested in your failure and devoted to being just like them, they will come undone at your success. There will be nowhere else to turn but their own road, their own life, and their own dreams.

Love your haters. Love them in your perseverance for success.